I’m an alcoholic, and I’m an alcoholic that has accepted that I have a problem and need help, skilled help. I take a look at my own circumstances and I appreciate how detrimental it has become because of alcoholism. I harm my own self each day and also I harm other folks everyday. It is not acceptable anymore. It has got to end. But this process of making it all end, the process of treatment and then recovery, is terrifying. Anyone out there that has fought against an addiction previously can understand. After awhile, dependency turns into all you know, and you ponder how everyday life might end up being without it, what it would be like to get there. It’s frightening.
I don’t think I’m so afraid about the general treatment process. I suppose I would certainly be ready to deal with any group meetings and individual counselling periods and all of that no problem. What I’m stressed about is actually the first part. If I can’t handle the very first part, I won’t make it to all this group and individual stuff, the stuff which really allows you defeat addiction mentally. I have to get through this very first part in order to get there, and that’s what is actually terrifying. The first element is detox. I am terrified of the entire detox process.
I have heard that detox is one painful thing to experience. I have heard it tends to make you come to feel like you are in hell really. And I hear that occasionally you have got to be put on meds to keep your system from closing down and consequently perishing just because of the withdrawal symptoms. It’s painful and also dangerous, and that is the reason it is actually so scary. I don’t get why you will need to go through detoxification if you’re an alcoholic. Why can’t I simply start off drinking a smaller amount and then doing work on myself all at the same time. I can just gradually over time level down off of alcohol consumption until I am free of it, kind of like how people quit smoking cigarettes. Then I wouldn’t get that physical pain which is ultimately significantly better for my healing process.
I believe my greatest fear in the whole detox experience is that I may give up. I could see myself being in so very much discomfort that I just through my hands up in the air then run out and go right back to life as an alcoholic, so disheartened that I will never try it out again. And this would likely involve spending the remainder of my lifetime as an alcoholic, injuring myself as well as those close to me. I can’t take that. So, I feel it would probably be much better if I might simply take baby steps off of alcohol for a while right up until I’m entirely free of it. I don’t get the reason why you ought to go through detoxing if you’re an alcoholic simply because I believe this particular method may work best for me personally and most likely best with regard to a whole lot of other individuals as well.