I have a boyfriend of 8 months who has struggled with cocaine addiction. He is 38 years old – has a number of issues with his father, his family and personal struggles with himself regarding his current place in life – no house, unstable income etc. His cocaine use has affected our relationship…he’s promised to stop, attended a few Cocaine Anonymous classes (for the first time, through my request) but continues to use. He admits that he has a problem and knows he may need some kind of help, but hasn’t taken that final step to get there. Most of the time he’ll use by himself, approximately once a week (that I know of). It’s his escape from the isseus in his life and the only way he knows how.
A few days ago he decided it was best we don’t see each other anymore. He’s recognized the fact that he has these demons to deal with, but wants to be alone to deal with them before he can be the man I deserve. We are still very close…..have spent almost everyday together for the past 8 months and I love him so much. He has a troubled relationship with his family, sees his close friends every couple of weeks, and admits….I know HIM, his depression, his issues inside and out, more than anyone in his life…and I’ve been that sounding board for him.
We spent Valentines Day together and I had a heart to heart with him. If I can’t be his girlfriend, I want to be his friend, sitting beside him, loving him and fighting this fight with him. Its too big for him to try and tackle alone. He teared up when I shared my feelings with him and expressed my unconditional love. He’s letting me in to be there…and wrapped his arms around me so tight. We agreed to do this together…even though I’m still figuring out what exactly needs to be done. Just letting him know that I’m there, I love him and I truly care…is a start.
Does anyone have experience with something like this?? Am I crazy to try and help???? I can’t find it in myself to just walk away, I love him SO MUCH…