Ok, a little background first may help. I am now 28 years old and just now my father is becoming a regular part of my life. Up til this point he would only come visit when he felt guilty, holidays, needed to borrow money, or wanted to introduce me to his newest bar going girl. He has a past of addiction to cocaine and alcohol both. Yet he raised my half brother his whole life almost. I did have a step father but he was mentally, physically, and sexually abusive. My whole life I have wanted to have a daddy and be a daddy’s girl. Unfortunately due to my past I am very untrusting and always on the guard of being hurt. My typical reaction is if you hurt me I am done no more contact (shut out, Finished). I can’t bring myself to do this in this case.
How do I tell him how his absence has effected me and build relationship with him? I truly wonder if it is worth it because I really haven’t built a bond in 28 years in life. I don’t wish him harm, I just am tired of chasing after him asking him to love me as I seem to do from time to time now even. As a child I did this constantly. All advice is appreciated.
(please no crap of get over it etc. I have got over more than ppl can imagine)