I have been taking adderall off and on for 8 months. at one point i dosed everyday for 2 months straight. i have a drug history that if explained to a doctor the assumption would over shadow the logic in why i think i need ADD meds. im 27 years old and my first experience with narcotics started with Phenobarbital at age 7 for epilepsy. i started experimenting with illegal narcotics at age 16 and started with pot and alcohol then moved on to hallucinogens in which i loved dearly but price, availability and quality put a stop to recreational use. so when i could get i dosed heavily and alone to intensify the trips. then i was introduced to cocaine and at first was amazed by the fact that i split a quarter ounce(low quality) with someone in about an hour and went in the house as soon as the last line was gone and went straight to sleep.
i felt it was over rated and didn’t have a problem for a few years until i came across a large amount and used daily. although i hate most of the effects i did do a dive bomb into cocaine hell for about a year. a year before i used close to an amount that could be considered recreational it didn’t grab a hold of me till i attempted college(and failed) and used daily to not only motivate myself but help with social anxiety. things were great for about 3 months and catastrophic event in my life caused me to go down junkie lane.
i injected almost pure coke for 6 months straight and would intentionally overdose to see how far past the “lethal dose” i could go past. i smoked crack when i couldn’t get the pure coke and was mentally lost without “my shot”. i lost everyone and everything and when tried to shoot a gram of pure to kill myself and somehow came out of it alive and with a ferocious will to live. i never injected again after that and weened myself off the needle by smoking and snorting until i was coke free.
i came out of cocaine hell with a strong will and i took ahold of my life and started the climb back into society. that was 2-3 years ago and since i have been a completely different person. i used to be a very negative, depressed, pessimistic person and now i am the complete opposite.
i was diagnosed with multiple(like 10) mental disorders as a child. ADD was not one but depressive, bi-polar, schizo, and many others were. i feel that when i kicked my addiction i somehow beat my mental disorders in the process. i used to be tormented by intruding thoughts and tendancys of violence, hate, rage, paranoia, suicide, ect. i kicked the drug and all these things that haunted me my whole life.
i have been happy ever since but i have always felt like i burned out considering the many years of aggravated drug use and self destructive behavior. all mental disorders seem to have left me but something else that has haunted me my whole life didn’t go away. im riddled with sleep disorders.
i tried perscription pain pills to help but eventually developed to a high tolerance and my first withdrawal from opiates. i always experimented and often binged for sometimes months on pain pills but as soon as i got dope sick i dropped them like a cigarette butt.
my first experience with adderall i fell in love. i abused them for some time by overdosing and snorting. i took as much as 300mg in one 24 hour period. i hated the way i felt afterwards and i naturally lowered the dose to that equivalent to a dose prescribed by a doctor(60-70mg). by naturally i mean i have no interest in exceeding 2-3 pills per day.
the results are unbelievable. ive completely changed my life since i started using adderall. i am social like i always wanted to be, im motivated and have the new ability to finish projects i start which is something that eluded me prior to exposure. ive put in fukn furnaces for the last 10 years and im damn good at it but never what i wanted to do with my life so now i am training for IT certifications and preparing to return to college and actually finish this time. ive finally took the initiative to have a relationship with my daughter who is 9 now and i barely know because of a mental block i overcame. im confident and quick whited, cool and collect, positive and productive, social and stress free.
it cures my daytime sleepiness and when i want to goto sleep then i sleep. and i wake up rested and motivated. im more organized, productive, social, and am ready to finally be a part of society instead of a stain on the underbelly.
im even following a long time dream of playing music while i study for certification. the pills produce positive results and the results remain but the days i dont have i notice the sluggish. absent minded, unmotivated, procrastinating person i always was.
its really like a miracle drug. i hear they make a patch which i would be fine in taking to assure the prescribing doctor that i dont have any intention in abusing the medication. id like to try a array of different ADD meds and dosages to