Resolved Question: i love to get high or drunk?

I am a 19 year old female. I went through a three year daily addiction to ecstasy and cocaine. i have been clean almost a year. But it seems i still find a crutch. I drink anytime something goes wrong…I’ve always ran away from my problems rather than towards them, i know this habit isn’t any good. But all of this is just a step…..quitting coke and ecstasy was cold turkey on my own with no help. Now all of a sudden I have all these responsibilities like university, work, placement, taking care of my brother and grandma, having to move out because we can’t afford a mortgage, and my dad is dying…well this is all much to handle. what can i do…i suffer from GAD and slight OCD and don’t take any meds due to my situation from addiction. How do i cope without losing control…its so easy to just pick up and get high. I feel as if i’m losing control. I have been getting honor role….how i have no idea, but i can’t let people down…its just so easy to pick up and do a line. ITS SO HARD TO RESIST. HELP!
its almost as if i’m not over my addictions. The thought of being high, just its overwhelming. I can’t describe the feeling..it’s almost sickening. I just know although i stopped i still need help!. I do not know how to cope.
i still love glorifying everything…i love in Toronto…Help me please…I’m desperate !

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