Resolved Question: any words or advice is good at this point.?

let me give you some back round info.I am a 19 yr old female.. I feel as if i am going insane with anxiety that is so unbearable…I have had permanent anxiety since my addiction to cocaine and e, i am now somewhat clean…i guess not really i drink nightly and use cocaine and Oxycontin occasionally (at least 1-2 times a week) My life isn’t going as planned…when i was an addict (maybe i still am) everything with my family was great…and i went from 0 responsibilities to a million…i have 2 jobs, go to college 37 hrs a week, do a placement, take care of my brother and dying grandmother while my mom works 3jobs seven days a week so we don’t lose our house, while my dad is in the hospital dying…which is very hard for me…we are extremely close. I do my best to help pay bills while paying rent, and my 2 jobs still aren’t enough..i dont really know what to do anymore, i feel so weak i feel i want to die, i can’t handle this all i want to do is say “f*ck it* and get high and overdose. I know i wont do that because i don’t want to let my parents down…i just can’t cope anymore…im off my meds for anxiety because my doctor doesnt want me addicted..i just want to lay down and not wake up. I feel sick and i hate myself. Anyway anything anyone has to say is more then welcome…thanks.

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