Hi. I want to know, how do you know if you are addicted to cocaine? I know I am NOT but I am dating a guy who is very straight-laced who really wants me to stop. He thinks that cocaine is this huge deal and I know it can be, but it’s really not. I’ve been there, I know how cocaine can ruin peoples lives. I’ve lost friends over it. I’ve seen the REAL damage coke can do, close friends living in a house with no bed, no food, and no heat in the winter because they spent every penny on blow. I do not let it control my life like that. There has been times when yeah, maybe I got a little too crazy the night before (and not necessarily coke) and had to call in at my job, but its happened maybe once or twice. I mean, it happens to all of us. I USED to do it excessively. I used to not have a job or a home, so me and my group would just get fucked up for days at a time. I’ve moved on since then, I have a job now and other things to focus on. Everyone seems to know I’ve done it though, I always have a stuffy, runny nose even though I havent done it in a long time. Its like my nose is permanently runny. It bleeds sometimes too, but not much, just a teeny bit. Its nothing that dramatic. Its just a little annoyance, like a cold that wont go away even though I havent done blow in a while. I have done it to the point of going insane, having full blown panic attacks, hallucinations when I come down, etc. But all that is in the past, just crazy experiences you know? My whole point is, I don’t do it that much anymore. I do it on the occasion, and not to the extent that I used to. But my straight laced boyfriend wants me to never touch it again, which seems unfair to me. If I rarely do it, and its not affecting my life, why should I not do it on the occasion when I really want/need to? I know how this sounds, but I am a perfectly normal girl with a job, a car that I am paying for on my own, bills, friends, family, pets, and a boyfriend. I’m not dirty, I’m not homeless, I’m pretty preppy in fact. I just want to know, is my boyfriend right? Am I really an addict? Or is he just a straight laced kid who doesnt know what he is talking about? I think he is just letting the stigma get to him, because I know what I am doing, and I know better than he does what a REAL addict looks like. And its not me.
I say I’m not addicted. I know what REAL addiction looks like, it’s pathetic. I’m not letting drugs affect my life. I just LIKE to do them sometimes. And I don’t plan on doing it forever, either. He says “Thats what all addicts say.” I think I have proved the self control that I have though, since I know when to stop, I can pace myself when I want to, unlike my friends. I know I’m not addicted, because I don’t NEED it. I just like it. Yeah I get cravings for it, but I don’t let that control me. I just ignore the cravings. It’s like chocolate. But I am an open minded person, I am willing to CONSIDER finding out if I’m an addict, just for the sake of not being hard headed and close minded. For the sake of respecting my boyfriend, I will consider it. But I know I’m not.
Sorry this is so long. I dont want to hear any arguments about how its illegal, it will ruin my life, how bad it is for me, what it does to my brain and organs and all that, trust me I know all that already. I just want to know, am I really addicted? Do I need rehab or something? Only intelligent, considerate answers please. Thank you.