Before I explain my situation, I want to ask that the people who thrive on giving degrading, condescending and out right rude answers, please don’t bother to even read my question. It’s pointless because I honestly do not care what you think; I am merely looking for positive answers and support from mature, non judgmental people who would like to help.
Anyhow, I am 26 yrs old and have been on methdone maintenance for about 5 1/2 yrs now. I began a heroin addiction at around 16 yrs old and started the methadone at 20 yrs old. Within a year I was at a dose of 80 mgs and stayed at that dose all the way up until about 6 months ago. The methadone has helped me stay completely clean all this time and about 6 months ago I decided that I was going to do a slow, recommended detox becuae I feel that I do not need maintanence anymore. In January, I received a positive urine for cocaine, however I have never been a cocaine user. Mind you, at that time I had 6 take home bottles due the fact that I never had positive urines. The positive, which was false (but they do not believe that of course) had caused me to lose my 6th bottle so I had to go 2 days a week as opposed to 1–And also, the doctor stopped my voluntary detox because he felt that I could not “cope” with the detox so I started using cocaine…(But wouldn’t I use an opiate if that were true? Ridiculous). So I figured, ok, the tests aren’t 100% so I’m just one of the very unlucky people that got a false positive. So then, 4 months later, I received ANOTHER positive for cocaine! You can only imagine how I felt considering I KNOW I am clean! But once again, they did not believe me so I lost ALL of my take home bottles and was forced to go every single day to the clinic which is a nightmare. So at that point, I was at 50 mgs due to my slow, voluntary recommended detox and I felt absolutley fine. I honestly don’t feel I EVER needed 80 mgs. So after being totally SCREWED by the clinic because of these false positives I decided, this is it. I want this $%^& out of my life and decided that I wasn’t doing this anymore. I signed a 60 day AMA (against medical advice) detox and I am currently at 26 mgs. It has only been 3 weeks so far and I have come done just about half my dose and I feel fine. I have alittle bit of restless leg syndrome and sweat a bit but other than that I am ok. So my question is, when will I start feeling terrible? Will I DEFINITELY feel terrible? Can I make it through this? Any suggestions for withdrawal symptoms, especially the leg issue? Any advice is greatly appreciated. I want to be off of methadone more than anything and I would NEVER recommend it for long-tern maintanance because the longer you are on I feel the harder it is to get off. Thanks again to all who took the time to read my question.