About 7 months ago i had a fantastic life, i had a beautiful girlfriend, a well paying job, i had overcome smoking, marijuana, and a mild cocaine addiction, i was on top of the world. My friends however were in the trenches, so to speak, fighting to keep their heads above water. I felt good, being at the top of the pile and being able to help everyone. but then I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me, and it all went down hill from there. Turns out that she had been cheating on me with this guy for almost the entire time we had been together, and that the only reason she was with me was to break my heart. After that went down the tubes, the rest of my life followed suit. I fell back into smoking, started doing large amounts of cocaine, and i was smoking 200 dollars worth of marijuana a week. Meanwhile, my exgirlfriend met some amazing guy and her and her sister started to do alot better. As I was losing my job and falling deeper and deeper into my addictions, they were just rising and rising. Now I’m finally beginning to recover and i look around and i see that my friends are all doing very well, that if anything they have benefited from my self destruction. Now whenever I talk to them i get depressed. I have kicked everything except the cigarettes, that’s the one habit i cant seem to break. I don’t want to feel this way, i want to be happy with their success, but i cant help feeling like garbage because of how horrid i am in comparison to them. why do i feel this way and what can i do to feel better.