Open Question: I am afraid to use medication but fear I need it (Need serious help!)?

Hi,

Thank you for reading this, first off. I am fairly certain if I were to visit a shrink or any doctor, they’d prescribe me mood altering medications for my depression/bipolar disorder/insomnia. I’m 24 years old and have known this since I was 18. I have huge visible scars on my forearm which I try to hide when I encounter strangers, yeah, they’re from a knife. I regret it, but each of them serve as a reminder to never do it again. I’ve been considering getting a tattoo to cover them up, but it would have to be a huge tattoo.

I have these extreme ups and downs, worry about small problems and allow them to get to me. Anyway, I’m afraid to visit a doctor and admit these things; for one, I do not have any medical insurance and secondly I do not want to be labeled. In all actuality, I can be a happy person but I have to force myself to be social and think positively, that’s why I usually do stuff to distract myself. I work 7 days a week, haha. It’s very frustrating because everyone in my life has their own problems and I don’t want to dump it on them; my dad just restarted his habit of cocaine, mother is addicted to painkillers/sells them and sister is just a completely different story, she has been raped twice.

Also, I’ve discovered Marijuana helps a lot but it’s illegal of course. How would I go about getting a medical card or prescription for Cannabis? Is that even possible in Kentucky? So many questions, haha. I believe taking pills would only make me worse or lead to an addiction. I quit smoking weed after doing it every other day for two months without any problem.

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