Open Question: Help with character names, please?

I know certain traits come to mind when we hear particular names. I’m hoping the reverse might also be true and someone could suggest names for these. All suggestions are appreciated.

Female 1: Tall, blonde, pretty, but also crass, selfish, self-centered, and a very lax parent, bordering on indifference. Smoker, if that matters. Divorced and remarried.

Male 1: Also tall, dark hair, complexion and eyes. Mentally unstable to the point of committing criminal acts. Violent temper, loud, also crass. Doesn’t smoke, but has been known to use illicit drugs and drink to excess. Divorced and now cohabiting in a tent in the woods with the mother of his second child.

Female 2: Medium height, dark hair, overly thin due to abuse of diet pills. Character disorder, must always be the center of attention, petty, jealous, spiteful, vindictive–a compulsive liar. Smoker. Divorced, recently separated from her first long-time lesbian lover.

Female 3: Medium height. Average looks all around, but a bit on the heavy side. Health care worker who can’t keep a job, but thinks she’s the best there is. Believes she’s smarter than she is. Doesn’t believe in Western medicine, because medications have side effects; thinks she knows more than most doctors. Purported Christian–and advertises it–yet is also spiteful and dishonest; doesn’t behave like one would expect a Christian to, yet has fooled many people. Also a smoker. Used to drink, but no longer does. Very easily influenced by Female 2. Divorced and remarried.

Female 4: Fairly tall, married to a man 15 years her senior. A nice person, but tends toward the naive side. Loves animals to the extent that she takes in every stray animal that shows up at her door. Smoker. She also drinks–her sisters believe she has a problem because she is always drinking in the morning, but they fail to take into account that she works 3rd shift and is drinking when she first returns home and it isn’t like she just woke up and started drinking.

Female 5: Very short and slightly heavy due to medication she has to take. Mother of 4 and very devoted to her children. Very generous and loyal in general. Also an animal lover who adopts many strays, but not to the extent that Female 4 does. Also a smoker who used to drink, but had to stop due to her medical condition.

Female 6: Quite a bit younger than Females 1-5. Very intelligent, but can’t manage to get a college degree due to a medical/psychiatric condition. Fairly short with dark complexion, hair, and eyes. Used to be very pretty, but illness and life stresses have taken their toll–now average looking. Fairly high-strung and opinionated. Divorced and now in a committed lesbian relationship. Also an animal lover. Chain smokes. Used to drink to excess in order to self-medicate, but now doesn’t drink at all.

Female 7: Also considerably younger than Females 1-5. Would be pretty except that she’s grossly overweight and has a hideous personality: selfish, self-seeking, violent, etc. Single mother, never married, of 2 bi-racial children by 2 different fathers. Won’t hold a job, lives on welfare, yet manages to go bar-hopping every weekend and often gets arrested for altercations she starts in the bars. Thinks nothing of speaking of violence, being verbally abusive to others, and spouting profanity in front of her children.

Female 8: Elderly, still beautiful despite her age. Fairly short with grey hair and dark eyes. Had a very puritanical upbringing and still focuses on the importance of etiquette. Very loving and generous, but at the same time can be no-nonsense with her family when need be. Devout Christian–and it isn’t just for show with her. She smokes, but not as much as she used to. She also used to have the occasional drink–not to excess–but has since stopped due to a recently acquired medical condition.

Male 2: Elderly. Full-blooded Italian who used to have a quick temper, but has mellowed over the years. Fairly tall and thin, with grey hair, dark complexion and dark eyes. Has a pure heart and is very generous, regardless of the things he might say or do when he loses his temper. Also a devout Christian who doesn’t do it simply for appearances. Getting a bit forgetful in his later years. Has never smoked or drank to excess.

Male 3: In his early 20’s. Still searching for what to do with his life. Tried a stint in the military, but it didn’t work for him. Average height with long brown hair and eyes–tends to look like most pics you see of Jesus. Doesn’t smoke cigarettes, but loves his Mary Jane. Recently overcame addiction to cocaine. Never married. All in all, a good kid, but doesn’t have any direction right now.

Male 4: Antisocial. Short with dark hair and pock-marked face. Believes everything is his business. Very selfish and rude. Comes from a small town where his family does not have a great reputation–he does nothing to change that

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