Open Question: Considering a relapse in AA?

I originally went to AA because of a cocaine addiction (from my youth), and i quit everything for over 8 years over it. It was very bad at the time, and I was out of control, dying, dating coke dealers doing whatever it took to get my fix. Now I am a successful adult with career and a house etc. I’m finding it very hard now not to drink, especially considering i never was a big drinker. Thoughts? I can honestly say I have ZERO desire to do coke again, and it would be hard for me to find it honestly. I originally saw the logic in not drinking, but I am a totally different person now. I know I owe it all to AA, but still it is hard to go to happy hour with co-workers and try to remember I cant drink because of stuff I did now nearly a decade ago. It is embarrassing… also, when I go to AA now I don’t feel like I fit in. I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore, I’m not crazy… everyone in AA seems so emotionally messed up and toxic, I used to be that way but now I’m pretty normal… my non-AA friends would be shocked to know why I don’t drink (I’m so embarrassed I told them I had pancreatitis, so medically I couldn’t drink.)

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One Response to Open Question: Considering a relapse in AA?

  1. Considering says:

    Have you ever gotten any relief from this desire? I want to hear what you and others have to say because I am going to something slightly similar?

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