Open Question: Are we doomed to clash?

My boyfriend and I have been together about 4 1/2 months now.He is 34 and I’m 26. Things are good. But with the holidays and my personal commitments I have been very busy. I live a home again and that is a stressor. But the problem is that over the past few weeks I’d say he is acting very sensitive about a lot of things. First off I suppose his history is relavent. He has been to rehab about 5 years ago for a cocaine addiction, he is now free and clear. His father commited suicide in 2001 after having been a raging alcoholic. He was in the Marines and after 8-9 months made sure he got kicked out. He has little to no family living around him. He has a had a series of relationships that he still has baggage from (worrying the same things will happen). He also lives with a married couple where the woman is an alcoholic and the man is addicted to the drama and fighting of the relationship. So… here are the things that have been coming up. A while ago he sent me all these texts about how we don’t spend enough time together. He is spending the holidays with my family and we sing the 12 days of Christmas (each person sings one of the 12 days) and he is afraid of looking stupid singing and almost refuses to do it. He thinks that because when I hang out at his house and I don’t have sex with him a second time or cuddle enough that something is wrong. He gets really freaked out and upset over his roommates fighting and needs to talk it out eventhough it does not effect him, but says its a reminder of how his parents were. I just feel like I’ve had a conversation with him at least 3-4 times in 2 weeks either talking him down from being a crappy mood, reassuring him, and trying to get him to just live for the moment and have fun. I sing in a band and when he comes to see me he is impossible to get excited and doing anything but just sitting there. My past relationship my boyfriend was the life of any party, talkative, friendly right away. This guy is the opposite. He takes time to warm up and is kind of predictable and sometimes boring. He is a great guy and treats me very well, but I’m tired of having these conversations with him and feeling like I’m having to sit with him so he’s not alone although I want to mingle and have fun. What do I do?

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