Monthly Archives: October 2009

Before I start specifying I want to admit that I do notice how this starts sounding like mambo-jumbo and pseudoscience but I’m still interested to know what others can tell me

I noticed that some kind of a permanent form of shame might be present in me in a subconscious level (don’t even make me start on how I managed to figure it out) which isn’t noticeable on the conscious level yet is influencing my thoughts personality and daily life in a negative way causing discomfort
there were times when I was crying and not even having a single idea what the hell am I crying about
I still haven’t figured out where is this kind of shame emanating from but suspect that it resulted from some particular event or events in my childhood (I’m currently 14 years of age)
and it seems that it might be somehow related to gender identity
I was not sexually abused in my childhood however so this suggestion falls off
nonetheless at that time my father had substance addiction (mostly heroin and cocaine) and it did cause numerous issues in the family which might be related
back to the subject – I was identified with scoliosis
and recently started wondering whether this might be in turn emanating from this specific kind of shame which I mentioned
as if the mind reflecting on the body – the mental state reflecting on the physical one (that’s the part where it’s suppose to start sounding like pseudoscience)
usual conscious shame often reflects with the person lowering the head and having a slack posture
since the usual kind of shame causes these symptoms then can chronic-subconscious-shame/ guilt lead to permanent problems with the spine (e.g. scoliosis)?

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I have been going through a lot lately,I’m a 19 year old female.. i work,go to college, do a placement, homework, watch my brother and my grandma because my mom works three jobs seven days a week, my dad is dying, and we’re going to lose the house because my dad’s unemployment runs out in December. I’ve had anxiety for years and slight paranoia due to my past cocaine and ecstasy addiction (i haven’t used in over 2 years)…but things are just strange now..I’m losing it. I’ve never felt so detached from myself in my life..
lately I’ve noticed I’m not myself, i constantly feel like I’m in a dream and things aren’t real, I’m nervous 24/7, i do routine checks around the house to make sure the stove is off and what not..I’ve even left my house and came back because i was afraid i left something on although i didn’t use anything..umm..i think so negatively such as imagining vividly that my mom died, thinking about it so much i start to believe it..i will literally get upset. I zone out all the time, i cant sleep or cant stop sleeping, my weight goes up and down a lot. I’m currently taking lorazepam as needed…usually just to help me sleep. I just feel like I’m going crazy..i feel that I’m losing control…please help?

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my 7 year old step-daughter has just come to live with us, and this child is SOOOO picky! My husband and my 3 other children and I all do “clean eating”.That is to say, we do all organic, and the least amount of processed stuff that we can do. We don’t do soda, or chips, or candy or any other kind of things like that. We don’t do spaghetti o’s or chef boy r dee or whatever or chicken nuggets and fries. That is all this child is used to eating and it is making it VERY trying at meal times. She cries and refuses to eat anything. I don’t want her to be upset, but I don’t want to just give in to the junk either, because then EVERYONE will want what she has! Her mother is not in the picture, so I can’t talk to her about it. The child’s mother has a terrible cocaine addiction and alcohol problem. The child is in terrible need of therapy…which we are already working on.
i never ate junk when i was growing up either, my parents didn’t think things like that were good for you and neither do we. I don’t want to fill my children with preservatives and chemicals, added growth hormones and such. my twins have never even tasted soda, and i’ll not have them start now!

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been with my bf 2 years and live together.

we have a very passionate love that is very overpowering and strong.

never loved anyone so much and i know he loves me too.

he is a talented handsome man who keeps our home lovely and nice. BUT he has an addiction.

to crack cocaine.

this happens when he has enough money. its a deep rooted problem, he turned to drugs when his mum died and members of his family died.

that was 20 years ago and still he uses crack. he returns to me and is always sorry. and scared that im going to leave him.

its such an extreme as you would NEVER EVER think that my lovely man uses drugs. noone ever guesses because he is so normal in every other way. he makes me so mad sometimes. i have never taken drugs- i am against them.

this makes it hard for me to try and see what i should do.

can i accept that he may never stop taking drugs and that it will be apart of our lives?

do i walk away from the man i deeply love and is great in all other ways?

what if i leave and never meet anyone i love in this way again?

i know you will say leave, but its not that easy or simple. we have a home together and love each othe. sometimes it seems like our love is so overpowering, it is all i think about.

any positive constructive thoughts or advice?

really need your help as i cant talk to many people about this. so i am hoping to gather advice from here.

kind regards

louise from england xxx

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been with my bf 2 years and live together.

we have a very passionate love that is very overpowering and strong.

never loved anyone so much and i know he loves me too.

he is a talented handsome man who keeps our home lovely and nice. BUT he has an addiction.

to crack cocaine.

this happens when he has enough money. its a deep rooted problem, he turned to drugs when his mum died and members of his family died.

that was 20 years ago and still he uses crack. he returns to me and is always sorry. and scared that im going to leave him.

its such an extreme as you would NEVER EVER think that my lovely man uses drugs. noone ever guesses because he is so normal in every other way. he makes me so mad sometimes. i have never taken drugs- i am against them.

this makes it hard for me to try and see what i should do.

can i accept that he may never stop taking drugs and that it will be apart of our lives?

do i walk away from the man i deeply love and is great in all other ways?

what if i leave and never meet anyone i love in this way again?

i know you will say leave, but its not that easy or simple. we have a home together and love each othe. sometimes it seems like our love is so overpowering, it is all i think about.

any positive constructive thoughts or advice?

really need your help as i cant talk to many people about this. so i am hoping to gather advice from here.

kind regards

louise from england xxx

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After 11 years of marrage i have just found out my husband has cheated. We have no children, and I have always worked 9 – 5, and he worked in our business which was 7 days a week till 1am, we saw very little of each other and no matter how much i moaned about this he did nothing ever to improve the situation. He wouldnt help in the house, he showed me very little physical emotion maybe 1 a month, and never kissed or cuddled me. I spoke to him about this on numerous occasions and he would always just get angry. I have now just found out that he has been having an affair for 5 years with a women who is 17 years younger and no oil painting! They have a 4 year old son and this women has always worked for him in our business. He tells me that the reason he needed to carry on the relationship with her for the 5 years, was she would have come and told me. I have spoken to this women and she tells me she loves him and wants him to be part of her sons life. My husband tells me he does not want anything more to do with women and is now relieved that he does not have to carry this problem around with him anymore?
I did everything for this man – including setting up every business for him, He telephones me and is so remorseful and crys all the time…trying to make me feel guilty.
He wants me to forgive him and tells me he will save our marriage and show me he can be a good husband….he is currently living in his own flat.
The women clearly wants him and has also told me things that are so unbelievable ie he had a drug addiction to cocaine and she has helped him get clean?
That he has had many affairs before and could possibly have another child by someone else who worked in the business.
I look at him and dont know him anymore. He insists she is telling lies, as she wants him so badly? We have split up before on 2 other occasions when i felt i could no longer cope with not being able to get through to him and he has always ran straight to her.
I just want to know the truth? He now swears on his mothers life everyday that he will never lie to me again and tell me everything, and that this women is evil – She wants him!.
She is very rough and comes from a very bad area, with brothers who are notorius for fighting and causing lots of trouble.
Help what would you do?

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can the user hide the fact that they do crack,weed,cocaine???… and what are the effects of someone on each drug, or does the person act the same with these 3 drugs listed???…what distinguishes each drug in that person???…how would i know if someone is on the junk???…thanks! XO!

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Adult male monkeys exposed to cocaine while in the womb have poor impulse control and may be more vulnerable to drug abuse than female monkeys, even a decade or more after the exposure, according to a new study. The findings could lead to a better understanding of human drug abuse. The study was presented yesterday at the annual Society for Neuroscience meeting in Chicago. Continue reading →