Monthly Archives: October 2009

Voting Question: Family member a suspect in ID theft. Who should we contact?

My brother in law has a long history of crack cocaine addiction. He has stolen from my husband before we were married in 2005. He stole blank checks from my husband, jewelry, gold coins just to name a few items. When I would visit my now husband before we were married I would leave my purse locked in my car trunk. That’s how much I didn’t trust him. My husband and I filed bankruptcy in 2006 because of my husband’s extended unemployment in 2001-2003. He lost his condo and lived off his credit cards. He finally got a full time job in mid 2003. The creditors were harassing us and we had no choice but to file bankruptcy. We tried a few weeks back to open up a checking account just to pay bills. The bank said that my husband had his social security number listed on the ChexSystem. That was really odd. So, I contacted the agency and they sent me a report about my husband’s credit. We found out that there were 3 inquiries into opening a credit card from a bank that we never contacted in 2007. Also, we received a bill from a collection agency on a credit card opened in 2007 about the same time. The reason that I am suspecting my brother in law is because a loan agent called me and wondered where my brother in law resided. He told me that my brother in law had an outstanding loan and that my husband had co-signed the loan. My husband and I are not allowed to incur debt until the bankruptcy is discharged in 2010 or 2011. I would have never opened up any new credit accounts unless given permission by the court. Who can we contact about ID theft? I contacted my lawyer and her hands are tied about placing the collection debt on the bankruptcy until we find out if this is ID theft. I just feel bad for my brother in law. He was a really kind and funny man before the addiction. His health is failing seriously right now because of the addiction. My husband might lose his brother at any time. The drugs have caused serious damage to his liver and now kidneys.

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Open Question: Addiction and illness: Would you considered an addiction an illness?

Addiction and illness: Would you considered an addiction an illness?
Gambling
Marijuana
Crack cocaine
Smoking
Overeating
Under-eating (self-image concerns)
Excessive shopping
Certain hobbies
Work/Job
Consider:
Pregnant women undergoing drug testing without their knowledge or consent to the testing. Authorities prosecute them after being alerted by the hospital staff.

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Resolved Question: Addiction and illness: Would you considered an addiction an illness?

Gambling
Marijuana
Crack cocaine
Smoking
Overeating
Under-eating (self-image concerns)
Excessive shopping
Certain hobbies
Work/Job
Consider:
Pregnant women undergoing drug testing without their knowledge or consent to the testing. Authorities prosecute them after being alerted by the hospital staff.

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Resolved Question: Quitting smoking please i need advice!?

Quitting smoking-Has anyone found that the gum is more effective than patches or vice verse??? I’ve tried quitting twice now cold turkey and this time I need some help obviously…I don’t understand it?! I kicked my cocaine addiction no problem but cigs…….aggghh….cigs…. Anyways I need advice please!
Oh and I don’t take pills from the doctor so don’t advise that haha! I don’t trust the health care system..I’ve hear of chantix-hmmm quit smoking or commit suicide. LOL Fack.

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Resolved Question: How long is crushed and snorted pill visible in your nose?

My friend (yes seriously, my friend, I do not have chronic pain) wants to snort her tramadol (I know its non-narcotic, it just helps her nerves, she had a cocaine addiction years ago) when she needs to see her pain specialist tomorrow.

I told her its reaaaaly a bad idea, because the doctor can just look up your nose and see that you snorted it. (in her contract it states it must be taken orally) and she will lose any chance of real pain medication

So my question is, how long before the evidence is gone/the doctor can no longer tell if she has? will nasal sprays help clear it out? please help me, and give me real answers, no *Take them as prescribed you addict!!!!11!* or *you can melt them down and bang em man!*

Thanks!
~John

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Voting Question: READ PLZ!! To Write Love on Her Arms?

In support of To Write Love on Her Arms, you should write “love” on your arm on November 13th, 2009, National To Write Love on Her Arms Day. This is not an event that you ATTEND, you just simply write “love” on your arm in support.

http://www.twloha.com

To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

Quick Numbers:

-121 million people worldwide suffer from depression.

-18 million of these cases are happening in the United States.

-Between 20% and 50% of children and teens struggling with depression have a family history of this struggle and the offspring of depressed parents are more than three times as likely to suffer from depression.

-Depression often co-occurs with anxiety disorders and substance abuse, with 30 percent of teens with depression also developing a substance abuse problem.

-2/3 of those suffering from depression never seek treatment.

-Untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide, and suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers.

Here’s where it all began:

Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won’t see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she’d say if her story had an audience. She smiles. “Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars.”

I would rather write her a song, because songs don’t wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.

Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn’t slept in 36 hours and she won’t for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she’ll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn’t ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of “friends” offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write “FUCK UP” large across her left forearm.

The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.

She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I’ve known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she’s beautiful. I think it’s God reminding her.

I’ve never walked this road, but I decide that if we’re going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.

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Voting Question: She asks me to be her therapist, then her internet sex buddy?

I met this girl a few weeks ago on y!a who was seeking help for her sexual abuse issues. She’s 17, and she suffered this from her uncle from ages 7 to 14. He died 3 years ago, which is how the abuse stopped.

Anyway, I offered her my IM like a kind human being helper, and after she took it, basically, she was looking for validation of what happened to her, mainly meaning she wanted me to ask her about what her uncle did to her, mainly to cleanse herself of the memories and possibly for validation.

And for the past 2 days, she’s made me do this: be her internet sex buddy! She says even though her uncle did so many horrible things to her, she says she loves sex and masturbation. And she wanted me to sex-talk her while she fingers herself. It was so weird and uncomfortable even though I loved it at the same time. It was weird mainly because it was the physical stuff her uncle did to her. But like she said, she loves it that other guys do it now. I felt so crappy and horny at the same time after it was over the first time. Still feel weird today.

And yesterday, I found out something she told me. She was high both times we did this. She says she’s the horniest when she’s highest. And here’s something else: after her uncle died, she sold her body for 2 years for cocaine addiction, and when we first met, she said she was clean for a few months, but obviously, she’s not. My theory is that she gets high when the memories come back, and she resorts to all this stuff she makes us do.

So what can I do here? For review, we IM, can’t email since her family searches her stuff. And her family’s useless, which is why she came to us on y!a. I’m 19, and she’s 17. She won’t tell me her state, and she ignored my offer of my phone number. I’m ready to refer her to a woman friend/therapist I know just in case.

VIVA LA RAZA!
And I even reminded her that I’m her therapist (not real one, just a listener and friend), and not a sex service dude.
Like I said, I feel horrible about this. But at the time, I was scared and confused, and I didn’t know what to say. But I’m putting a stop to it now. And I mean NOW!
And yes, I know I’m an idiot from doing this. I didn’t even wanna ask this question because I didn’t wanna be judged, even though I should be judged, but I have no where else to turn. So now the fact that I did wrong is gone, could just give me advice on this girl?

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Resolved Question: Can a mental problem lead to a physical illness/ condition?

Before I start specifying I want to admit that I do notice how this starts sounding like mambo-jumbo and pseudoscience but I’m still interested to know what others can tell me

I noticed that some kind of a permanent form of shame might be present in me in a subconscious level (don’t even make me start on how I managed to figure it out) which isn’t noticeable on the conscious level yet is influencing my thoughts personality and daily life in a negative way causing discomfort
there were times when I was crying and not even having a single idea what the hell am I crying about
I still haven’t figured out where is this kind of shame emanating from but suspect that it resulted from some particular event or events in my childhood (I’m currently 14 years of age)
and it seems that it might be somehow related to gender identity
I was not sexually abused in my childhood however so this suggestion falls off
nonetheless at that time my father had substance addiction (mostly heroin and cocaine) and it did cause numerous issues in the family which might be related
back to the subject – I was identified with scoliosis
and recently started wondering whether this might be in turn emanating from this specific kind of shame which I mentioned
as if the mind reflecting on the body – the mental state reflecting on the physical one (that’s the part where it’s suppose to start sounding like pseudoscience)
usual conscious shame often reflects with the person lowering the head and having a slack posture
since the usual kind of shame causes these symptoms then can chronic-subconscious-shame/ guilt lead to permanent problems with the spine (e.g. scoliosis)?

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