Monthly Archives: September 2009

2 and a half years ago my boyfriend and I met, we hung out with the same friends who all used cocaine on weekends and naturally we fell into the same cycle. It was all fun and games in the beginning?
Well we started dating and wanted to escape from the friends we had and start our lives over, we moved across the country and stayed with my biological father, whom I didn’t know very well because I had never been raised by him.
At first it was ok, then he started doing cocaine in front of us… It was so weird I never thought I’d see the day I was watching my own parent doing drugs? Long story short, it didn’t take very long before he was offering it to my boyfriend and myself and naturally being a previous user, it’s almost IMPOSSIBLE to turn down free drugs.
So after a month or so, we got out of there and got our own place, we couldn’t be in that environment. After about a month on our own, we won $20,000 playing poker at the Casino, and thought we should celebrate. We called my dads dealer and we bought an 8 ball and went all out.
Slowly things just got worse and more frequent, to the point where we were using 3-4 times a week, spending THOUSANDS of dollars on drugs and alcohol.
About 4 months later we moved again and the drugs seemed to taper off and we were just drinking and smoking weed. Then my birthday came around and we started using again. We moved again and the location we were in was such an easy hot spot for drugs. We did our coke thing for a while until we stopped talking to the dealer because I didn’t want to be associated with him due to my father.
Then thats when the crack thing started… My boyfriend simply had to walk out our house and up a block and it was like a drug market! You could buy all the heroin or crack or speed you wanted… we never stepped outside the cocaine usage so we stuck with crack. I personally was not a fan, I didn’t understand the hype…. that is until I started to come down!!! I realized it’s not the high… it’s the coming down and the horrible chronic NEED for more to avoid the come down. We started gettig physically and verbally abusive towards each other… It was a mixed bag of emotions and drug abuse. I was ashamed and upset about what we were doing and yet I would still do the drugs when he brought them home.
This carried on for about 2 months with crack and cocaine… wichever was available to us. We were using probably around 3-4 times a week.
Finally we moved and the drugs seemed to be eliminated from our lives for quite a while… probably a good 4 months or so? Then we got cocaine again a few times, gradually more often. Using about once every 2-3 weeks. We never did use crack at all, I was very thankful for that because I felt we had more control over the cocaine usage being once in while and not using the crack.
Then we moved when our lease was up, moving back to the city, at first things were good, then we got some cocaine again… we started doing that more often and one day my boyfriend came across a guy who deals crack… and thats when the whole crack addiction started again. It’s now been 2 months of cocaine and crack… I would say this is probably the worst of our drug abuse so far! I’m totally at breaking point, I have never felt so helpless and addicted in my life, and it seems everyday is the last time, and then there’s tomorrow… and the next day!
I am so shameful of our behaviour. What I want is to be high on life. What I want is to be able to say no to drugs and to not have them around me… I want my boyfriend to want the same thing, and I know he does… it’s just we struggle together! We only have each other out here, and I want to being healthy so we can get engaged… it’s something we have been talking about for a year now and he wants to propose before the Winter Olympics he said. But I also told him I wont say yes unless we have been sober for at least 3 months… I need to get my life back, I want to be happy and proud… I want to save all the money we’d normally blow on drugs and go on vacations, buy a house, and a car! I just want to be healthy again and rehab doesn’t work for us… we both work super long hours and full time, we barely have weekends off… Our drug abuse is done usually at like 10-11 a night when work is finished, and we go to work feeling like crap and exhausted.
This needs to stop!!! How can we ween ourselves off? I’ve already told my boyfriend if he wont stop I fly back home and leave him, for me because his continued use can’t happen in order for me to be sober. He does not want this to happen, nor do I, I have a great job and I love it here…this was my dream coming here…. I don’t want drugs to be the failure of my dreams and my life… I love my boyfriend I just want to be better and get through this… How can we do this? Are we doomed!?

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Cocaine Blues by Johnny Cash
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aq344ks1ieg

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Hello there. Yesterday, I was watching the Oprah show. And it was
talking about how Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown were dealing
with their marriage, and the abuse that intervened. She said, Whitney, that she did cocaine and smoked weed. She said that she
was on it so bad, that she tried to do it only because he was on it,
and that her man was her drug. Holy cow. Now correct me if I am
wrong. I never saw a man, said that a Woman was his influence
when it came to the reason why he did drugs……….. Anyway.
Women are more emotional, so perhaps that has something to
do with why they become extremely dependent on drugs itself.
They see it as a father figure, or some type of wall of security.
Us men do drugs to cope with our addictions. And the pressures
of life. For the most part, that is how it is. I think that our reasons
for substance abuse is different, when it comes to the sexes.
What do you think…………………

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The Recovery Month observance highlights the societal benefits of substance abuse treatments, lauds the contributions of treatment providers, and promotes the message that recovery from substance abuse in all its forms is possible.

Date Added: 09/15/09
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Results from the 2008 National Survey on Drug Use and Health: National Findings.

Date Added: 09/15/09
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Preparing for a new school year can be both exciting and stressful for children. Whether starting first grade or high school, a new school year means new experiences, relationships, responsibilities, and concerns. Among those concerns are bullying, smoking, and underage drinking.

Date Added: 09/15/09
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Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD) Awareness Day reminds everyone that FASD is 100 percent preventable. Conversely, life-long disabilities can occur in the fetus of a woman who drinks alcohol during pregnancy. FASD Awareness Day also celebrates the achievements of SAMHSA’s FASD Center for Excellence to improve and increase effective health and mental health services for these individuals and their families.

Date Added: 09/15/09
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SAMHSA is moving to provide urgent funding to suicide prevention centers around the Nation that are dealing with the enormous hardship wrought by the economic downturn. Many of these centers must cope with a sharp rise in the number of callers in crisis (often because of financial problems). At the same time, these centers are threatened with significant cutbacks in funding from state and local governments and other sources of support.

Date Added: 09/15/09
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