Monthly Archives: July 2009

Well i was a real good momma , I thought. My children were 18 months and 3 years old when my ex surprised me and servd me with a petition for custody. I had left him, took the kids and moved in with grandma.The ex and I were both using drugs, he drank everyday-I was more of a weekend drinker, we both on ocassion used cocaine after a night drinking-Me one line, him a lot. After I was served with papers I appeared in court a few days later. He demanded I be tested for drugs-A shock to me, cuz I figure we both are gonna lose the kids. HE WAS CLEAN, I was dirty-SHOCK!! He knew it was coming, I didn’t. I immediatly called and got help for my problems. Now, almost two years later, I am remarried to a wonderful man whom has a daughter, does not drink or use, he has supported me 100% in my recovery, I attend AA, sponsor a woman myself,have beeen through drug out patient rehab for 2 months last year. over 150 hours of counseling and I am happy, clean and sober, with 10 drug test (hair, and urine) to prove it.
In the beginning the oppsing lawyer demanded that I give up custody of the girls to get help for 90 days. 90 days came and went one and a half years ago. We went back to court and they all laughed and said “that wasn’t written in the record”. Bad attorney I had.. I used to get the girls everyother weekend. They were always sick as dogs, bleeding diaper rashes,ear infections e.t.c I always took them to the doctor and helped them, because he would not. Then they accused me of having Munchausen syndrome by proxy! Then they insisted on Supervised visits only. Then they put me on supervised after having a P.I follow me last year and he lied in his testimony about seeing me take the kids to see my father whom had an injunction on him not to see the girls because they dug up an old charge that was public lewdness from 1986! They won-supervised visits only for me. I pay $200.00 a week to see my girls for 4 hours. This actually turned out to not be so bad, because the supervisor documents all the abuse the girls are claiming, the jealous new 15 year younger girlfriends negative comments about me, e.t.c Now comes trial in a few months, I have opted for a jury of my peers. His side of the story- A bad mom who was on drugs and her family has a history of drug abuse (yep, family of origin issue here). Me- A mom who has proof I paid all the bills, he never worked, has no tax returns, sold dope (will have witnesses), used drugs, had DWI, jailed 7 times in the past 7 years for tickets, has been through no recovery, drinks like a fish daily and in the car with kids (they tell on him) ,non payment of his support for his son, warrants for bad checks e.t.c. I also despite my smoking weed a couple times a week, took my children to the library, parks,had great b-day parties, was very involved in every aspect of their life. Now of course I can do even better with NO addictions. Let me know what yall think my chances are of regaining custody. I hear the longer the kids are there, the harder it will be to get them back with me. They cry when they leave me, they beg to come and live with me, this is all documented. But the law in my state clearly states-There must be a substantial or material change to warrant the removal from him of custody-I think it’s there do you?
thanks,
sad lost mommy without my babies

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Okay, first of all Alcohol kills A LOT of people each day,More than MaryJ kills a year,Secondly Don’t even get me STARTED on cigarettes ,Cause that is where most people die. I understand coccaine is bad, just remember, all the side effect are

Cocaine,
Addiction, Jittery, and REALLY bad because that stuff goes directly from your nose, to your brain.

Alcohol;
again,addiction,drunk,slur language, Sudden anger,Or sudden sadness

Marijuana,
Hungry (munchies),You feel relaxed.

And really that’s the truth, don’t criticize it, Legalize it
the only time it caused any problems was when monkeys were forced to inhale pure THC for 3 hours straight, and then there were minor complications. there is absolutely nothing wrong with marijuana.

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I love my husband very much. There is no one that I would love to be with in this world. I get so angry because I feel that he loves his drug addiction more than he does me. I feel it is his mistress and she has ahold of him and will not let go. I see him try so hard and yet I still feel that its got him by the balls. I do not want us to be apart anytime in this lifetime. But when he is high he is not the same person. He is the sweetest greatest person there is until she comes along. I hate that there is nothing I can do. He has been involved in this life for most of his adult life. He had a rotten life with his family from what he has told me about his childhood. But I know with Gods help he can overcome it. I have stood beside him for almost 4 years. I know he can do it. I have seen people change their lives. And I know that he has to want to. Sometimes like today I feel like he wants to try really hard and is trying really hard not to go do the drugs. Sometimes I feel like he wishes I would just give up on him. What is really hard for me is that I know that he truly loves the person I am , good bad and the ugly when he is not on the drugs. And I know that I truly love him. I have never seen such a love in my lifetime. And right now I feel like I afraid I am losing him to his mistress. I do not want him to fail, I am not saying that. I want the mistress to go away. And not come back. She haunts our life right now. I know it may sound crazy but I do not think I could bear life without him or really the thing is I do not want to.. Even tho we have been thru alot. Those good times are precious. He wants to go to a friends a few hours away. But he told me he may not come back if he fails. I guess I am upset because I do care and I do want the best for him and for him to be happy, I just do not want it to be the drugs over me. But in reality, I cannot change a thing. I know they are all his choices. It just sucks that I only have the choice to sit by and watch him kill himself or pray that Gods will is for us to be together, at least for a few good years, traveling maybe , living and loving. The drugs will kill him. I have my own issues. Part of me says let him go and if he comes back then it is meant to be, the other part says if you let him go, he will never come back. And really I know that is not true, I feel he cannot be away from me as much as I do not want to be away from him. So I guess all in all, If we are not together, I truly believe we will both fall apart. I know that is not logical thinking to most people. I just want to be there with him, I just feel like there is nothing I can do to help him but to be strong. People are always talking about tough love. I just keep praying. I do not know what to think anymore. I do not like the manipulative, crazy, uncaring drug addict. But I love the man I know he is without it. I know he can do it. He thinks he cannot. But I know he is trying with all that he can. He has been to rehab, he knows what they have taught him, just have to apply it. He is detoxing at home. And doing ok right now, but I can see it is getting worse for him. I have to believe God will give him the strength to make it thru it all. I still feel like I should be able to fix it, and I really know I cannot. I wish alot of things, I pray God will take the urges from him. His mistress is crack-cocaine. I wish all the people in this small town, I could just get rid of the ones selling the crap, in this small town, its about every other house, well seems like it. It all a crooked bunch of crap. I just do not know what to do anymore.

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If so, can you help. LONG story short- my 23 year old brother has been a drug addict probably since he was 17 or so. Everything from pain pill to crack cocaine. He has been as low as living in a junkie crack house but for no more than 3 days or so before my parents go rescue and physically make him leave & go with them, even though he is begging tears to be left there for more drugs. Currently, he isn’t on crack or he would have disappeared by now. But he is taking up to 50 pain pills a day….. and it gets better he has a baby who will be here in a matter of weeks. Some dad he’ll make huh? Anyway!! My question is DO YOU CONTINUE TO TRY AND HELP HIM over and over and over again. He has been in about 6 rehabs. Or LEAVE HM BE and WHEN he is READY, HE will seek help?!?!? His actions sure prove he is NOT ready to quit, but I didn’t know if that was just because he is “mentally ill and dependent on the drug” as many claim, which I really don’t buy. THOUGHTS?

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I’m not against any drugs as long as you’re smart and willing enough not to get addicted or caught. I never went further than pot for financial and “fear of getting hooked” reasons.
She has done pot and cocaine and called me to ask if she should try heroin. I said no, because it’s dangerous, for the physical addiction you get from the first shot, plus the risk of overdose. I suggested rather snorting and gave her all the side effects.
She’s a great girl, but I’m afraid she’d cross the line with this. I noticed she sometimes is weird. Probably from the cocaine. But other times she acts normal.
She is strong willed, but tends to be obsessive and orderly. She also is anxious and depressed, because she misses a limb, she lost in an accident when she was 3.
Will her anxiety and depression be really bad when her high wears off?
Also, will it be dangerous for her if she used cocaine for the past 2 days?
I try to find some info about how hard you actually get hooked up, but I can’t find a conclusive answer.

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So I am getting married August 25, next month. Here is my problem. My dad and I used to be very close, they are divorced, but when I turned 12 he began an addiction to cocaine, and I am not sure what else. But since than, he was no longer there for me any more, he was not really a father figure. My mom re-married when I was 5 and I have this awesome step dad. He was like a father to me all these years. My dad is still an addict, and I am not expecting him to quit any time soon if any time at all, but he has come around now for the past two years, and we talk and hang out more. He is helping to pay for the wedding. Now, I have always had a hard time choosing who would be walking me down the aisle, and it stressed me out, I thought about having my step dad walk me half way, and my dad the rest, but figured it would be a huge hassle that way, so I just thought I would have my dad walk me down. I was dreading having to tell them because I knew they would be upset. So today, I showed my mom our invites. They read
“We are pleased to announce the married of Shelby Nicole, daughter of Steve &^*&^, Connie and Keith @&(#*&$*&$”
We did not even think about the order of the names, but after she read them she snudged and was like why is your dads name first? Before my dad began his addiction, all of my family was still close, my step dad and real dad even hung out. I told her I would change it to avoid any drama, than she acted annoyed and told me just to not worry about it. Than she asked who was walking down the aisle, and I told her my dad, this threw her completely off and she was very upset. She asked me why? He is not like a dad any more to you. She is mad and dissapointed in me. My feelings are hurt and I am torn now because I don’t know what to do. My mom is helping to pay a large portion in the wedding, and we are even doing it in her back yard, so I dont have a clue what to do. I would love to have both of them do it, but I dont even know if that would make her happy enough. I feel horrible, and not sure what to do. I want to respect her decision, but at the same time, I am going to die letting either one of my dads down. My dad and I were so close, like best friends, and my step dad is so supportive and great. I just am lost. Any advice is appreciated.
So I suggested having both of them walk me down, and she says, I have a suggestion, have your dad pay for the whole wedding, because I am not paying to glorify your dad walking you down the aisle, if Keith is not walking you down, I will not pay. I dont know guys, I am crushed.
Daisy M, can I just say how ignorant your answer sounded. My dad made a mistake, a tough and expensive one to pull out of, but you, would not understand. SO next time think about what you have to say, a junkie? I would never in my life refer to any one with an addiction, or disease in that case, a junkie. I will pray for you, because you need it.

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I’m no stranger to recreational use of drugs, I have tried many myself at one point or another and am surrounded by people who smoke pot every day for the most part and experiment with other drugs when they come around. One of my close friends starting using cocaine recreationally, once every few days because it has been around more often. This one friend in particular has gone probably 3 days the entire month without doing it, I assume he is doing half of a gram a day maximum and claims that it’s not a problem. He can afford it and does not act reckless but seems to enjoy it 90 percent of the time and regret it 10 percent of the time, he also claims that it is just a temporary phase and if it starting to affect his life negatively, he would stop. It doesn’t seem to be taking a toll on his life and seems like someone who can handle it as long as it eventually ends. He tells me that it will end soon, but the frequency of his use has only slightly decreased since he admit that he may enjoy it a bit too much. Should I be worried? More importantly, as a close friend, what actions should I take to stop this from becoming a problem?

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In 2006-2007, almost one in twelve (7.9 percent) fathers living with adolescents aged 12 to 17 had an alcohol use disorder, and 68.1 percent used alcohol in the past year but did not have an alcohol use disorder. The rate of past year alcohol use among adolescents was lower for those who lived with a father who did not use alcohol in the past year than for those who lived with a father who used alcohol but did not have an alcohol use disorder and for those who lived with a father with an alcohol use disorder (21.1 vs. 33.2 and 38.8 percent, respectively). The percentage of adolescents using illicit drugs in the past year increased with the level of paternal alcohol use, with illicit drug use reported by 14.0 percent of adolescents who lived with a father who did not use alcohol in the past year, 18.4 percent of those who lived with a father who used alcohol but did not have an alcohol use disorder, and 24.2 percent of those who lived with a father with an alcohol use disorder.

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Date Added: 7/15/09
Inventory #: NSDUH09-0618
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