Monthly Archives: September 2008

I have been weaning off a nasty cocaine addiction and just addiction in general, mostly because I have finally seen the agony and pain I have put my two biggest supporters, my parents, through.

Lately, though, and especially after relapsing and pulling some stupid shit, my mom has been quite talkative and perky, happy go lucky more or less. She is usually down, concerned, always agonizing over the situation. Not good for her.

This sounds good, but I found in her Internet history she had looked up caffeine injections. Now, for the sake of me knowing the pain it puts everyone through and trying to get clean, are there any legal drugs that she could be taking to make her this passive with the situation? I doubt depression pills, anyone know about anything else?

Thank you in advance.

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I’ve been very interested in becoming a police officer. However, I server 2 years in the army and my contact was cut short due to a back injury. during the time of injury i was put on pain killers. later i was discharged and when i came home i brought home an addiction. I struggled for almost 2 years taking pain killers and during desperate time i used harder opiates. I couldn’t take it anymore and i got help through the VA with their substance abuse program. So far i have been clean for almost a year and i have always wanted to be a police officer. I also have medical records showing that i have tested positive for opiates and and i have tested positive for cocaine once( very stupid). I have been in contact with police officers that say i should still try out b/c they say i am a very well rounded person and hopefully they can see that my past is behind me. I am just too scared to try out and chance it. Tell me what you think. Thank you

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Why would anyone try extremely addictive drugs like Heroin, Crack, Cocaine (hard drugs ect.) after the enormous amount of evidence ( people, shows, readings, almost everything that has to do with any of these addictive drugs is saddening, how their lives are ruined) that plainly shows what people become after addiction?

I mean, watching the videos on addiction and how it ravages the body, mind, and family scares me to death, just watching it!

Why, after knowing this, would anyone stick Heroin into their veins or smoke Crack?! Like i said, watching or hearing of millions of people who have ruined their lives? Is it because they think that if they try it once, they’ll be fine?! That’s ridiculous! If this thing can cost me my life, my home, my family, my body, why the hell would I try it even once!?!
It makes me so sad how I hear and have read about the worst addicts (even kids!, 15 -19 year olds!!) spending upwards of 3 years prostituting, stealing, mugging, and dealing drugs to support their addictions after almost EVERYTHING, all of the information about drugs (the ones that came from people who are not using) has been completely against it.

Drugs are amazingly ravaging, destructive. I just cant fathom, or get through my skull, what ever, how you can hear all this info, watch all these videos, see all these people homeless, nodding off, fcked up face and all [in person, family members, friends or even in videos], and have the gall to even consider picking up that needle, never mind actually shooting up.

i actually start to tear when i see that sh*t, its so sad, the human race, this is as low as we can go?
and those who have kicked it, it always lingers below the surface of your thoughts doesn’t it?

on a serious note however, do you regret using it? or feel ok now that you have that experience under your belts? or a combo of both?

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When I first started smoking things were great. It felt good to smoke, all of my stress just went away as soon as I hit that high.
But then it ended up being an everyday thing….nothing happened at first things were still great and then out of nowhere this strange feeling hit me. I started noticing everything, judging people, judging myself, thinking more than I should be about things, and my biggest problem is that I am constantly thinking about when I get old, my biggest fear is getting old now.
Before I just didnt care about that kind of stuff.
So I decided to stop smoking to see if this was the cause, and it worked, I became my old self again.
But I just couldnt stay away from it, and those feelings came back.

And when Im smoking I have the wierdest thoughts. And thats why my friends love smoking with me. Its funny.

But I dont want to feel this way, I want to be normal.
I dont want to accept the fact that I have an addiction, I start having suicidal thoughts when i go a day without smoking.I dont have the money to go to a rehab center and I would never tell my parents or friends that im addicted to weed. My friends would laugh and my parents would be devastated.

Some things you might want to know:
Im 17
Im graduating this year.
Ive been smoking for 2 years.
But I first tried it 4 years ago.
The other drugs Ive done are cocaine, extasy, pills, and I drink.

I dont want people critisising me and telling me I am a child gone wrong and stuff like that…I already know , I just want to to know if anyone else feels this way. And maybe even give me some advice on how I can stop doing all of these things. Just dont think im a bad person cause im really not.

This may not make much sense because im high now.

Email me: vrod051691@yahoo.com
Myspace: /nessaoar
Or you can post on here.

I might not be on for a while so please be patient for me to reply.

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I was asked by my pastor would I like to be the challenge leader for the church program that would be starting in a few months. It was a drug and alcoholic outreach program to help those within the community to help them to overcome their addiction. One of the men who was in my group was a married man with a wife who also was going through the program. She was a alcoholic and he was a cocaine addict and a alcoholic. One day while I was cleaning up the meeting area I overheard Pete ask the pastor, “if a person was to commit suicide, would they still make it to heaven?” when the pastor told him yes my feet locked in place. “How is that so?” “Well once a person saved, they are always saved and their sins from yesterday, today, and forever more will be forgiven.” When Pete went to leave, I pulled him to the side and inform him that what the pastor told him was not true. “Pete, what you don’t know about me is that I tried suicide seven times and I wanted to die. God did not allow that to happen because he was finish with me yet. I can say today, if I go out and commit suicide, I know with all my heart that I will not make it to heaven.” The bible tells us to trust in God, with all our mind, heart and spirit. If we say we trust him, then let him get out of the situation that we are in. if we couldn’t do it before, then why bother trying. Suicide is not the way out. It’s just an escape out and I don’t believe God want us taken the easy route out. That night when I arrived home, I e-mailed the pastor telling him what he did was wrong. You had no right telling someone that suicide is right. About an hour later, I checked my e-mail and he had sent me some forms dealing with suicide within the bible. After reading what he sent me, I wrote him back asking him, “did you read what you sent me because if you had I’m sure you wouldn’t have sent them to me. The forms speak of all the people who did commit suicide in the bible and they all were wicked men. The next morning I checked my message. He e-mailed me back telling me to meet him at the waffle house tonight to discuss it. When I went to the waffle house, he asked me did I want something to eat. “Not really, I just want to talk about the suicide that you encourage someone to do.” “Gino, like I told Pete, once a person is saved and they come to believe in Christ, God will forgive all. He may not get all of his gifts and rewards he is promise, but he will still make it to heaven.” “Show me in scripture where it says that.” “Gino, I am not going to debate scripture with you. You are just going to have to trust me on this one.” “If you do not want to show me using scripture to back up your theory, then we are finish.” I said my bye and walked out the door. Before the program begin we would have a short meeting and prayer with the challenge leaders and those who helped with the program. The pastor wanted me to apologize for walking out on him at the diner. I didn’t say a word. During the group, I told the guys in my group that this would be my last night and that my assistant would be taken over the group. I didn’t tell them why I was quitting. I knew in heart that if I would have stayed I would have build up a lot of anger toward him. I e-mailed the pastor that night telling him that I would not be coming back as challenge leader nor attending church there anymore since I no longer see you as a preacher but one who is deadly and dangerous to God’s people. He e-mailed me back wishing me the best of luck.

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I’m doing a research project for psychology and the topic is about neurology. I came across an interesting graph on this site:

http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/wdrug.html

But the graph is ranked by physical addiction and physical harm but not brain damage. My question is which drugs from the following list causes the most brain damage (negatively effects cognitive ability, concentration, and ability to learn; instead of just causing physical dependence) in the long term and not just under influence or coming down from the effects

Marijuana
Ecstasy
Mushrooms
LSD
Alcohol
Cocaine
Meth
Any other drug listed on the above website

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Since the idea of freedom to choose what goes into your body isn’t reasonable to many when it comes to illicit substances, I’m going to single out the cannabis plant. The fact that it is not physically addictive, and not toxic enough to possibly overdose on are two very important facts that are extremely downplayed by proponents of prohibition. It can cause psychological dependence, but literally anything can cause psychological dependence. That kind of dependence is based on multiple factors, but the main two are how much pleasure said object or activity personally brings someone, and how much willpower they possess. Whether you like the feeling of cocaine or not, your body will crave it. With cannabis people’s bodies aren’t literally craving it, they consciously like the effects and that is why they seek more. That is also why thrill seekers wish to go skydiving again, or someone wants to play a video game again. To single cannabis out as addictive for anyone is like saying those two activities, or any other, will be equally pleasurable and likely to make a habit for anyone who engages in them. Physical dependence is real addiction, cannabis can only make a habit, like literally anything else can. It all depends on the individual, and how much they personally enjoy the effects of cannabis. To treat it as dangerous and addictive to the point of making it illegal for everyone is foolish and costly.

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My boyfriend and I who are apparently both addicts used crack cocaine for about two weeks straight. The only thing that stopped us was running out of money and having to step up and take responsibility. I have been majorly depressed ever since we stopped. I don’t know what to do. We both snorted Heroine during that time too, I only used 6 bags or so during the whole two weeks, but I know he used more and now he has to use it to avoid being sick. I am okay as far as the Heroine, but the longing for the cocaine is killing me. We agreed to stop and I will not go behind his back. I just don’t know how to get through this. It is all I think about. I dream about it. This is so sad to say, but I was happy during that time, and I had something to look forward to, now I am miserable. I am already seeing a counselor and I am on Wellbutrin, Abilify, and Lexapro for depression and anxiety. I feel alone. I don’t even feel understood by my boyfriend. Help.

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